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emilie jeanne

je dis | je suis | je souris | je me souviens
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November 11 at 8:58pm]

oh man. i can't wait for thanksgiving break. a few more days at home to calm down and be ready for the last few weeks of school. i am so ready for a little detox time. 

and 51 days til lesotho! <3
(find me in the garden)

October 25 at 12:33am]

 Lucie (my 11 yr old black lab) died today. She had a seizure, and so my dad drove her to the emergency vet, and when they took her in the back to draw blood, she had another one. and died. I hadn't cried in so so long, but tonight it all came out. Its times like this that all I want to do is be home - I know my brother can't handle things like this, and I wish I was there to just sit with him. And to sit with my mom as she tries to figure out what to do with Lucie's bed. And to sit with my dad as he relives driving her to the vet. And just to sit in my house where I can go and hide in the space between my bed and the wall and just cry. Those other people with pets know - it's hard. Leaving her my freshman year of college was the hardest "see you later" I had. I cried a lot those few weeks, but the hardest was her's. 

I am coming home next weekend. With friends from here. It's going to be the strangest arrival without seeing her running at me as I get out of the car.

It's been a hard week. I'll be so glad when things work out. Let's hope they do.


cause i miss you, honey ain't nothing new.

(4 flowers - find me in the garden)

September 26 at 1:17pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

omg omg omg.

on January 2, 2008, I will begin my 3 week journey to Lesotho&South Africa.

i think i'm still in shock.

(1 flower - find me in the garden)

winter. [Thursday
August 23 at 2:51pm]
i just turned in my winter abroad paperwork. if all goes well, i will be in lesotho/south africa from january 2-20, 2008.

some people move in today, then 4535 moves in tomorrow, then 6south will be returning on saturday/sunday. i cant wait until classes start so i can finally sleep. i know that sounds like a contradiction, but so true. no more getting up at 7:00 every morning.
(1 flower - find me in the garden)

August 01 at 8:43am]

august 1. fastest summer ever? i'd say so.

next week will be my last week at the Ltown desk, and my last summer week at Aerospace. these friends I have made from my CA staff i really really hope to hang on to. for some reason i feel like we're going to try and stay in touch and it wont end up working...but what a pessimistic way to think about life. hopefully some of them will at least hit me up for meals from the diner since i always have extra points.

i am so so excited about the new year - back in cville with some of the best people ever, but then 40 new freshman! i feel like its so much better this year than last with the fact that i can relax and i know what to expect from training and move-in and the first few weeks of ridiculousness. it only i could decide on a good theme...

so i think im going abroad in the winter. i cant decide where - either lesoto or the netherlands. why why whyyyy cant the netherlands program be IN lesoto??? that would make life so much better. i just dont think i could write a convincing essay on why i want to study in lesoto when the program is based on things that i no longer want to do with my life. and the netherlands - perrrfect. but only two weeks instead of three!

i dont know. for some reason, even though specific parts of my life are falling apart and i normally would be upset, im in an amazing mood. its a great feeling knowing that things can be perfect even when theyre not. if that makes any sense.

you know how i was discussing songs that bring me back to a very specific memory? well there are smells like that too. my boss at Aerospace uses the same cologne that Alex did. its the strangest thing, because i went into his office for the first time on monday and my immediate first thought was to him. just an interesting thing, seeing as how i havent been in the same place as Alex since October of freshman year. (omg. thats almost two years ago) 

thinking of him when i smell whatever cologne it is and knowing that everything was ok is probably half the reason that i know everything is ok now. because life moves forward and changes happen and even though i become terrified of forgetting important people or places or events, moments like that make me remember that i never will.


(find me in the garden)

July 29 at 6:04pm]
(find me in the garden)

you're only a day away. [Friday
July 20 at 12:44pm]

"those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad." - norm papernick

nothing can put me in a bad mood today. nothing. i worked a double from 6am-noon and i cant take a nap because i am too excited. tomorrow i will be headed to latrobe, PA to see my better half one more time before she leaves for florence for the semester.

to long talks, laughing, my CA staff, and tomorrow-

(find me in the garden)

July 13 at 9:44am]
i dont think that song could be any truer. on more than one account.

stole me away-
the first time i saw you you did me that way.
(1 flower - find me in the garden)

steal me away. [Wednesday
July 11 at 1:24am]

Hello again
Seem like forever between now and then
You look the same
I mean you look different but you haven't changed

Funny to think how the time gets away
Funny how you take me right back again
Stole me away
First time I saw you, you did me that way
What should I say?
I saw you laughin' and I was afraid that I'd get in the way

I did not think I would see you again
So how have you been?
Do you remember, lose everything

Funny I think how the time gets away
Funny how you take me right back again

Stole me away
First time I saw you, you did me that way
What should I say?
Saw you there dancin' but I was afraid I might get in the way

I did not think I would see you again

Funny to think how the time gets away
Funny how you take me right back again
Funny the feeling when forever ends
Stole me away
First time I saw you, you did me that way
What should I say?
I saw you there dancin', well I was afraid I might get in the way

Never thought I would see you again
How have you been?
(Been) watchin' the years as they trickle away

It's everything, how time gets away
Funny how you take me right back again
Steal me away

It's like the first time I saw you, you do me that way
What should I say?
See you here standin', and I am afraid I might get in the way

I never thought I would see you again
How have you been?
Do you remember I mean everything?

You steal me away
Like the first time I saw you, you do me that way
What can I say?
That's you here standin', well I am afraid I might get in your way.

(find me in the garden)

honey, lately... [Thursday
June 28 at 4:21pm]

you know how sometimes there's a song that brings you back to a very very specific memory? like, so specific that you can even remember what you were wearing and exactly who you were with and what you talked about? i had two: follow through (italy bus, 8th grade) and collide (616 knox, fall05). i just discovered another one of them this morning, and it almost made me cry: crash into me. i hope that someday soon i will be able to listen to that song and smile instead of the reaction being to immediately hit next. that song is too beautiful to not be able to hear it regularly. 

so. june is almost over. creepy.

its been a good month here in cp. ive spent way too much money, worked quite a bit, and played more than i could have ever imagined. my brother's weekend here was really good - he's one of the most ridiculous people i know, and it was so refreshing to hang out with a thirteen year old. it kind of makes me put things in perspective a little. last weekend, jesspress&marla were were and that was complete with happy hours (at ALL hours), dc trips, etc.

tomorrow, i head home. back to the boro, then to holden beach on saturday for the week. i realized yesterday evening just how badly i need a break - i know its summer here, but i still dont associate college park with summer. going home and seeing my family and playing with my puppy and being carefree at the beach for a week will be awesome.

i am going to try to save money the rest of this summer. i need to go abroad in the winter. or next summer. can't decide.


(find me in the garden)

thoughts on commencement and other little ditties. [Sunday
June 10 at 11:28am]
wow. has it really been two years? two years since it was us walking down that center aisle at war memorial, two years since michael betts hid tissues in his jacket pocket to hand me while we sang, two years since we moved our tassels.

and those two years went by so fast. will these next two? will it all of a sudden be time for me to walk down the center aisle at comcast? talk about scary.

i have so many thoughts on things right now. but i dont really know where to start. living in cp is still awesome, more friends are here now and i stay really busy. even so, i have a lot of time to think, and of course that just gets me in trouble.

kyle comes on thursday, and i'm really excited. people were asking what i was going to do with a 13 year old on a college campus for a weekend, especially if i'm not at all comfortable with him being around people who are drinking, but i really think its going to be fine. we have ideas of fun things to do and hes not hard to please - we could just hang out here some too.

then the following weekend, jesspress comes!
then the next weekend, i head home for the beach...too bad ally will already be in australia.

such a random entry. mostly out of boredom. sundays are my boring days.

i have been thinking, which i shouldn't do
cause it gets me in trouble
and farther from you.
(find me in the garden)

May 29 at 11:23pm]

let's see, where to begin...

it's been summer for about a week and a half now, and being in college park was a good idea. except i didnt think i would actually miss the boro so soon, but i do. technically, im just really missing my brother recently, which is not usual. i mean, i miss him during the year, but not to the point where i think about him a lot. ive been talking to him more this past week or so, and its really made me sad that i'm not around a lot for him. i try to be, but it's not easy - especially when he's a 13 boy who doesn't really like talking on the phone or even talking about life to anyone other than his friends. there had been talk of him coming to visit me this summer, and i finally called my parents and made them buy him a plane ticket - so june 14 he'll be here! and then a few weeks later at the beach. i wish my car was here. i would go home a few weekends that i wasnt working to see him.

college park is pretty empty right now, since summer session 1 doesn't start til next monday, but hopefully then itll pick up some. ive been thinking about signing up for a summer class, but just out of boredom. i have friends that move back in this weekend, and itll be so so good to see them - esp michele. its so funny that one of my residents has become such a good friend - i seriously tell her just as much as i tell my closest friends, and im so glad that we can be real friends now that shes not a resident.

i get paid on friday, but its technically only the first part of my food stipend. therefore, i should spend it on my next grocery trip. but i really want to get a bunch of books for the summer, and a few crafty things. im contemplating making a sophomore scrapbook to keep with my freshman one, but i didnt take nearly as many pictures this year. also, im still so poor that buying scrapbooking stuff would break the bank. i'll just go wander around a craft store. if i can find one. and if i can find a car.

i have high expectations for this summer. i need to make a list of things that need to be completed before august:
-visit all the smithsonians
-paddleboat on the tidal basin
-become friends with my staffs
-explore maryland and find a future home
-get all three of my boro loves to cp
-make enough money to study abroad next summer
-learn how to properly sail
-read all the books on My List

good for now. im sure things will be added as i go.

so hurry up and get here. <3

(find me in the garden)

you know its finals week when... [Wednesday
May 16 at 4:18pm]
(2 flowers - find me in the garden)

May 02 at 7:02pm]

my housing paperwork is in, two jobs have been accepted, and yyyyyaaayyyyyy!!

i was really worried that this wasn't going to work out - and that i would end up going home and spending another summer in the boro. my dad left me a voicemail saying he was really happy things were going as i wanted them to, but i know my parents are upset that im not coming home. i think they finally realized that last summer was my last that ill spend all there.

now i just have to hope that my roommates are cool...
(1 flower - find me in the garden)

crazy i'm thinking... [Tuesday
May 01 at 12:02pm]
sooo typical Emilie.

overreacting, as usual.

i really need to learn how to explain myself. and how to calm down and stop stressing about everything in life.

things will all be right in the end, and for that i am thankful.
(find me in the garden)

you're my satellite... [Wednesday
April 11 at 10:31pm]

so there are 5 weeks left in the semester, and im really starting to be ok with that. i want to strangle my residents for being so loud and obnoxious, and i think its good that they soon will be moving on to bigger and better places than 6south. im starting to second guess my decision to come back next year as an RA and i really think that the only reason im coming back is because of my returning staff. im getting worn out. but i keep reminding myself that i'll have all summer to catch back up and be renewed for next year. i also really wish i could live with my friends, and none of them will be on north campus next year. itll be hard, but i'll do it. this pays room and board - i cant just up and decide to quit.

yesterday i was in a bad mood. i dont really feel like explaining why, but as annoyed as i was last night, i am equally as happy today. this afternoon was just what i needed - i cant wait until my internship is done so i can play more often. only a week and a half left! then comes formal for which i have a reaaaally awesome dress that i'm excited to wear. if only i could find shoes and earrings...hmmm...

there is nothing else to say. i want to find out about my summer job so i can accept and plan on being here all summer. so excited.
(find me in the garden)

yay! a real update! [Wednesday
March 28 at 2:47pm]
I'm back in cp from spring break, and it feels so good. here is a list of the things that have made being back lovely:

1. I applied to be a Summer Community Assistant so I can live here this summer
2. I came to find out that the woman who reads those applications is the woman I teach my class with
3. It's been almost 80* here the past two days
4. Schoolwork hasn't piled up yet - even though I have an exam next week
5. The Boy in Emilie's Life is still around, much to the excitement of my friends, his friends, and of course me
6. I'll be back in cville next year, after RA drama that made it seem like I wouldn't be
7. I'm thinking of adding a minor in Public and Community Health

The only bad thing about life right now that I could think of last night at staff meeting was that my capris have two holes in them. If that's the only thing that is wrong, life is pretty damn good if you ask me.
(2 flowers - find me in the garden)

March 24 at 4:25pm]
how is it possible to hate and love a place at the same time? the boro keeps me so sheltered, so enclosed. but at the same time, i love driving down elm street on a sunny saturday. i love laying in my porch swing and watching people walk by.

am i really brave enough to not come back here this summer? i know i'll eventually miss it. i always do.
(find me in the garden)

little bit weaker than we used to be... [Thursday
February 22 at 12:11pm]
(find me in the garden)

quick quick! [Tuesday
February 13 at 6:43pm]
Let's see. it's been a while since my last entry, but AIM isnt working and i dont have work to do since i am no longer a procrastinator. alas, here i am.

the semester is in full swing and i think im happier than ever before. ive been crazy busy, and my residents pretend that i dont care about them anymore because im not here most of the time, but everything im doing is so awesome. i just got an internship in DC on Weds&Fri, so i'm working at the National US-Arab Chamber of Commerce from 9:30-5ish. tomorrow is supposed to be my first official day (even though i was there monday), but i have an idea that the government may be closed...its like NC up here when it snows. an inch, and they close everything. i mean, its fine with me. no matter what, i get to sleep in tomorrow more than i normally do - til 8am tomorrow!! wooo.

i'm not going to ramble about boys, because that gets old and boring. but after a really funny yet interesting phone conversation that woke me up at 1:15 this morning, i cant be anything but happy. getting serenaded to Walk Away...i was almost crying i was laughing so hard. this semester should be an interesting one with all this happening.

i was really worried that once my internship started, i wouldnt have time for schoolwork and everything, but i seem to be budgeting my time even better than before. im really getting stuff done early and i havent skipped class yet this semester! granted, we've been here for about a month, but its pretty impressive when youre taking such riveting classes as Horticulture and Womens Studies.

so i won't hesitate no more, no more
it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate
our time is short
this is our fate, i'm yours.
(find me in the garden)

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